In moments of conflict or misunderstanding, our language can either build bridges or walls.
One of the most effective tools for building bridges is shifting from “You” statements (which often sound like blame) to “I Feel” statements.
A “You” statement, like “You never listen to me,” puts the other person on the defensive. It’s an accusation that invites them to argue back.
An “I Feel” statement, on the other hand, takes ownership of your own emotions without attacking your partner. Consider the difference: “I feel unheard and lonely when I’m talking about my day.” This isn’t an accusation; it’s a statement of your internal experience. It’s hard to argue with someone’s feelings.
This simple change invites empathy and collaboration. It opens the door for a more constructive conversation about how to solve the problem together, rather than a debate over who is right or wrong. It’s a small change in wording that can make a big difference in the quality of your communication.
2 comments
Onie Lemke DDS
January 25, 2018 at 9:35 am
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Kiana Cremin I
January 25, 2018 at 9:35 am
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